oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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