Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
