I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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