Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
