Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm always down for nudity.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
