Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
