Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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