Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
