Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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