I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
