Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
