you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
