he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
