dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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