His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
