I want to stick my p in your. b.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
