I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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