but the lizard people decide everything anyway
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
