no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
