it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
