Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
