So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
