He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
A+ Viking dick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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