Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
