big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
