stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
