it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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