i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
