But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
