Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
