We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
