im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Randomize
