office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
