sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
