what if every blade of grass was a penis?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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