That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
