So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
