im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
