smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
