people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
