I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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