Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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