She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
