Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
