The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
