Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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