Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
