Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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