wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
