dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
