This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
