I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
