the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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